When the mighty internet asshole known as Razorfist prophesied to Star Wars fans last year, “When this is over you will beg for George Lucas,” the Arizona-based YouTuber couldn’t have possibly foreseen how right he was without subsisting on a month-long diet of peyote and scorpion venom, while sleeping in the desert under the open skies. Alas, the Razorfist prophecy came true and the public should react by elevating him to the status of Supreme Internet Guru for his keen insight into the retarded asshattery of the Social Justice movement that has infected Hollywood like Super Herpes. How the fuck did this happen? How did Disney, who owned the rights to a franchise that was a literal license to print money, allow uber-feminist Kathleen Kennedy to run the franchise into the ground by the time the third new film was released?
The Last Jedi was not a Star Wars film. It was Mary Sue’s Space Adventure. Of course, you can’t say that without being labelled as a racist homophobic sexist bigot — because Kathleen Kennedy was clearly using the Ghostbusters 2016 strategy of covering up shoddy filmmaking and bad stories by using dogwhistles to silence anyone who dissented. However, the simple truth of the matter is this: Star Wars is dead. The franchise has been irrevocably damaged by Episode VIII, and there is no way to fix this mess. Perhaps Disney should have held the reigns a little tighter and not allowed filmmakers to choose feminist indoctrination over good storytelling.
The Last Jedi is so bad that it received the worst audience score in franchise history on Rotten Tomatoes (currently at 49% and dropping). Fans started a petition begging Disney to remove Episode VIII from the official canon, which has been signed by more than 85,000 people. The film is currently failing in China. After witnessing the film at the premiere, Mark Hamill looked like a war veteran having a PTSD-induced flashback who was fighting the urge to choke out Rian Johnson:
While the critics and the media laud the film, simultaneously destroying any shred of credibility they still had, fans are left bewildered and heartbroken. This was an objectively terrible film. While heralded as a new age of filmmaking where women are on top, does any of this matter when the content they are producing is garbage? Who cares if the Lucasfilm Story Group contains a majority of women if none of them can tell a coherent story? Fans can’t call them out on their shitty production without being labeled as a misogynist, and they are well insulated from criticism because of this, but that isn’t going to put the dollars in Disney’s pocket. Wasn’t making money the whole point of buying Lucasfilm in the first place? Why the fuck did Disney allow this to happen? Surely they must know by now that Social “Justice” themes don’t play well in front of an audience. Has Disney been completely oblivious to the cratering of Marvel Comics due to this very issue? Disney clearly forgot that good stories will always find an audience and allowed Kathleen Kennedy to inject her personal politics where they never belonged, completely ruining a beloved film franchise in the process. They were already on third base just by having the words “Star Wars” in the title — and they totally fucked it up.
We’re not going to get into the fact that Episode VIII completely destroyed the legacy of the most universally beloved character in cinema history, Luke Skywalker, by transforming him into a grumpy loser who has isolated himself on an island after attempting to murder his own nephew, before eventually dying because he… was tired? We’re not going to get into the fact that Rey became a master Jedi after only a week of training in total. Or the completely baffling Leia Poppins In Space scene — which was the perfect opportunity to say goodbye to Carrie Fisher (since it is readily apparent that she won’t be returning in any future films). We won’t mention the fact that every male character was either evil, cowardly, backstabbing, or a complete idiot who can’t follow orders, while every female character was above reproach and totally perfect in her decision making process. The one thing we will get into is the singular franchise-destroying aspect of The Last Jedi: The weaponization of hyperspace by Vice Admiral DangerHair.
If the Resistance can just crash small ships into larger ones via hyperspace and utterly destroy them, why didn’t they just do that to both of the Death Stars and StarKiller Base? Why was this never attempted before? What is to prevent the Resistance from building a fleet of drone-operated ships that will easily decimate the First Order with kamikaze hyperspace tactics? So much for space combat after this. It’s too bad the films are called Star Wars. This single thing is what makes the entire franchise completely unrecoverable at this point. No amount of clever writing or retconning can fix this. The franchise is finished.
It’s time for Disney to rethink the leadership role of Kathleen Kennedy, although the damage has already been done in a way that permanently tarnishes the entire franchise. The House Of Mouse is already preparing for the Han Solo spinoff movie to completely bomb. Star Wars was a guaranteed home run, but now it’s already running on fumes. Fans who have always loved the films are now turning their backs on Star Wars. Disney executives need to learn that rabid feminists and social justice warriors do not know how to create art. They are only capable of co-opting art that has already been established, injecting their personal politics into it to use the art as an indoctrination vector, and ultimately torpedoing the art with their bullshit political agendas. We’ve seen them do this countless times in the past. SJWs have a verifiable track record that can be objectively proven. Why is Disney so eager to burn up all of the fans goodwill and lose a shitload of money in the process?
The only way for Disney to salvage this travesty is to fire Kathleen Kennedy and the Lucasfilm Story Group, scrap the film, remove it from canon, never mention it again, and have a do-over. George Lucas should be brought back into the fold, and Disney should use as many of his notes as possible. People can trash his prequel trilogy as much as they like — at least they were actual Star Wars films. That prophetic asshole, Razorfist, was right: We are begging for George Lucas.